Flowcar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing pig.

Flowcar created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowcar, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flowcar, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flowcar's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Flowcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Flowcar loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Pray towards the west.