Dadlagbab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty beaver.

Dadlagbab created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadlagbab, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dadlagbab, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Dadlagbab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Dadlagbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Always look after injured sheep.

4. Never think ill of sick swans.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.