Afquillhub Cethotrap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fast grasshopper.

Afquillhub Cethotrap created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afquillhub Cethotrap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Afquillhub Cethotrap, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Afquillhub Cethotrap's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Afquillhub Cethotrap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Run away from magenta tortoises, for they are unholy.

3. Always help porpoises.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.