Ripsasflag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid lion.

Ripsasflag created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripsasflag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ripsasflag, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ripsasflag's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Ripsasflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Run away from magenta aardvarks, for they are unholy.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about cell theory.