Nutyaknart is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, tranquil whale.

Nutyaknart created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutyaknart, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nutyaknart, he will manifest in front of you.

Nutyaknart's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Nutyaknart's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Nutyaknart on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always help tortoises in need.