Jopladhog is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, staggering crane.

Jopladhog created the cosmos four years ago.

If you believe in Jopladhog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jopladhog, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Jopladhog's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Jopladhog's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Hide if three monkeys approach from the west.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about comets.