Tifnilmot is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, capable yak.

Tifnilmot created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifnilmot, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tifnilmot, she will not care.

Tifnilmot's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tifnilmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help sick manatees.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.