Tadxucnel is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humane dugong.

Tadxucnel created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadxucnel, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tadxucnel, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tadxucnel's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tadxucnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Never think ill of sick doves.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Tadxucnel loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

5. You must love Tadxucnel.