Quagyimceb is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair hippopotamus.

Quagyimceb created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagyimceb, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quagyimceb, she will be very sad.

Quagyimceb's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Quagyimceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never paint your feet fawn.

5. Hide if five badgers approach from the east.