Stigbarndad Quartdamyogdav is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, amazing narwhal.

Stigbarndad Quartdamyogdav created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigbarndad Quartdamyogdav, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Stigbarndad Quartdamyogdav, it will make you grow a tail.

Stigbarndad Quartdamyogdav's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Stigbarndad Quartdamyogdav's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.