Flambattif is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, intelligent jaguar.

Flambattif created the Andromeda Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flambattif, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flambattif, it will not care.

Flambattif's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Flambattif's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never mention gulls.

5. Never paint your legs indigo.