Binnatpon is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic mongoose.

Binnatpon created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Binnatpon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Binnatpon, he will turn you into a worm.

Binnatpon's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Binnatpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

3. Worship no other gods but Binnatpon.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Fast once a month.