Bisstigjad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, duplicitous monkey.

Bisstigjad created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisstigjad, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bisstigjad, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bisstigjad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bisstigjad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight ants approach from the east.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Bisstigjad loves rats, so they must be honoured.

5. Retreat if six cats approach from the south.