Hammilton Jamwod is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, boastful mink.

Hammilton Jamwod created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hammilton Jamwod, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hammilton Jamwod, he will be mildly annoyed.

Hammilton Jamwod's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hammilton Jamwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never wear gray kilts.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

5. Do not cook food in pots.