Zanpidfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair seal.

Zanpidfarn created the Large Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Zanpidfarn, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zanpidfarn, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zanpidfarn's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zanpidfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not listen to music.