Vilortxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, all-knowing goat.

Vilortxuck created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilortxuck, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vilortxuck, it will strike you with lightening.

Vilortxuck's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Vilortxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Vilortxuck loves snails, so they must be honoured.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.