Fubtomsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, slow centipede.

Fubtomsaf created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubtomsaf, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Fubtomsaf, it will torture you forever.

Fubtomsaf's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Fubtomsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never look in ponds.