Disskadsis is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, witty tapir.

Disskadsis created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Disskadsis, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Disskadsis, it will boil you in a big pot.

Disskadsis' most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Disskadsis' Holy Commandments

1. Put Disskadsis first in all things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always obey Disskadsis' priests.

4. You must pray to Disskadsis four times a day.

5. Do not eat melons.