Sakbetgon Fonlindussbapvab is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-powerful dryad.

Sakbetgon Fonlindussbapvab created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Sakbetgon Fonlindussbapvab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sakbetgon Fonlindussbapvab, he will torture you forever.

Sakbetgon Fonlindussbapvab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Sakbetgon Fonlindussbapvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Sakbetgon Fonlindussbapvab loves snails, so they must be respected.