Cebkarpin is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, amazing grasshopper.

Cebkarpin created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cebkarpin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cebkarpin, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cebkarpin's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Cebkarpin's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cebkarpin first in all things.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

4. Never laugh in the presence of squirrels.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.