Artbifkim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, stupid wombat.

Artbifkim created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artbifkim, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Artbifkim, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Artbifkim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Artbifkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never hurt badgers.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Do not speak about spinach.