Rap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, almighty bird.

Rap created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rap, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rap, it will manifest in front of you.

Rap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Rap's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

5. Never talk about gravity.