Sandqueegtom is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, omnipotent alligator.

Sandqueegtom created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandqueegtom, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sandqueegtom, she will turn you into a worm.

Sandqueegtom's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Sandqueegtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always obey Sandqueegtom's priests.

3. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Sandqueegtom on top of important buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about galaxies.