Fennurtbig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, stupid goat.

Fennurtbig created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fennurtbig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fennurtbig, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fennurtbig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fennurtbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fennurtbig.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Erect three nickel sculptures of Fennurtbig on top of important buildings.

5. Run away from turquoise squirrels, for they are unholy.