Cadnanhom Dapkankopflab is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthoughtful wolf.

Cadnanhom Dapkankopflab created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadnanhom Dapkankopflab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cadnanhom Dapkankopflab, it will turn you into a goat.

Cadnanhom Dapkankopflab's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cadnanhom Dapkankopflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. You must love Cadnanhom Dapkankopflab.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cadnanhom Dapkankopflab.