Cidbarnquart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing salamander.

Cidbarnquart created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidbarnquart, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cidbarnquart, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cidbarnquart's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cidbarnquart's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always help cats.

4. Do not take Cidbarnquart's name in vain.

5. Erect nine copper sculptures of Cidbarnquart on top of important buildings.