Flaphigcib is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, all-knowing beaver.

Flaphigcib created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Flaphigcib, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flaphigcib, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flaphigcib's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Flaphigcib's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Hide if seven whales approach from the north.

3. Never sing near tortoises.

4. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not hurt capybaras.