Fotmilnel is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, passionate bird.

Fotmilnel created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotmilnel, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fotmilnel, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fotmilnel's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fotmilnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Always obey Fotmilnel's priests.

3. Erect nine lead sculptures of Fotmilnel on top of important buildings.

4. Never paint your legs white.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fotmilnel.