San is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, stupid goblin.

San created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in San, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in San, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

San's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

San's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never think ill of sick mice.

3. Never paint your hands yellow.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.