Tonlarngeb is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent fish.

Tonlarngeb created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonlarngeb, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tonlarngeb, he will not care at all.

Tonlarngeb's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tonlarngeb's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat grapes.

2. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Feed all hungry mice.

5. You must love Tonlarngeb.