Quimdadgut is a god.

It takes the form of a small, smart deer.

Quimdadgut created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimdadgut, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quimdadgut, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Quimdadgut's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Quimdadgut's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not hurt voles.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not commit murder.