Beplamfudlagwapgilomin is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, proud monkey.

Beplamfudlagwapgilomin created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Beplamfudlagwapgilomin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Beplamfudlagwapgilomin, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Beplamfudlagwapgilomin's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Beplamfudlagwapgilomin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Beplamfudlagwapgilomin.

3. Hide from mauve porpoises for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.