Jongatstan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, temperamental cow.

Jongatstan created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jongatstan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jongatstan, it will destroy your home solar system.

Jongatstan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Jongatstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters in need.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never skip in the presence of rats.