Dabyarljam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unsympathetic butterfly.

Dabyarljam created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabyarljam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dabyarljam, she will turn you into a puffin.

Dabyarljam's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Dabyarljam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Dabyarljam loves ants, so they must be honoured.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dabyarljam.