Tettidanmis is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless cow.

Tettidanmis created the Milkyway four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettidanmis, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tettidanmis, she will turn you into a frog.

Tettidanmis' most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tettidanmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

2. Do not kill swans.

3. Run away from brown birds, for they are unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

5. Never wear ear rings.