Titnatwotcap is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, blissful penguin.

Titnatwotcap created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Titnatwotcap, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Titnatwotcap, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Titnatwotcap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Titnatwotcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always help eagles.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Mice are not to be trusted.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.