Sigwikyattflislag is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy wombat.

Sigwikyattflislag created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sigwikyattflislag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sigwikyattflislag, she will turn you into a dog.

Sigwikyattflislag's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Sigwikyattflislag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Hide from blue shrews for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Sigwikyattflislag on top of all buildings.