Dutlunnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous hippopotamus.

Dutlunnurt created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dutlunnurt, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dutlunnurt, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dutlunnurt's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Dutlunnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Always help pigs in need.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not cook food in pots.