Ganshavzen is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tranquil parrot.

Ganshavzen created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganshavzen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ganshavzen, she will laugh at you.

Ganshavzen's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Ganshavzen's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Run away if eight snakes approach from the east.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. You must never eat coconuts.