Rulbinsabstragnatsawbonlak is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unjust crab.

Rulbinsabstragnatsawbonlak created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulbinsabstragnatsawbonlak, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rulbinsabstragnatsawbonlak, it will turn you into a snail.

Rulbinsabstragnatsawbonlak's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Rulbinsabstragnatsawbonlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always help snails in need.

3. Run away if nine mites approach from the north.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.