Fodquartdid Hincaprull is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unselfish dolphin.

Fodquartdid Hincaprull created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fodquartdid Hincaprull, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fodquartdid Hincaprull, it will turn you into a goat.

Fodquartdid Hincaprull's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Fodquartdid Hincaprull's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always obey Fodquartdid Hincaprull's priests.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not speak about tomatoes.