Vadbitjig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish troll.

Vadbitjig created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Vadbitjig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vadbitjig, she will turn you into a rat.

Vadbitjig's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vadbitjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Vadbitjig loves seals, so they must be honoured.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always wear white.