Missigpag is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, staggering dugong.

Missigpag created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Missigpag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Missigpag, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Missigpag's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Missigpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. You must pray to Missigpag eight times a day.

5. Do not listen to music.