Hablatquart is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered naga.

Hablatquart created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hablatquart, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hablatquart, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hablatquart's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Hablatquart's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always help tortoises.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never paint your back mauve.