Bellfudflab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, effective seal.

Bellfudflab created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellfudflab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bellfudflab, he will make you grow a tail.

Bellfudflab's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bellfudflab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Hide from orange snakes for they are unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.