Lenvogjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Lenvogjarn created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lenvogjarn, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lenvogjarn, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lenvogjarn's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Lenvogjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.