Motpongep Fenquatfit is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humorless dog.

Motpongep Fenquatfit created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Motpongep Fenquatfit, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Motpongep Fenquatfit, she will turn you into a worm.

Motpongep Fenquatfit's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Motpongep Fenquatfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Put Motpongep Fenquatfit first in all things.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always stare at clouds.