Cudkanquim is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, benevolent gorilla.

Cudkanquim created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Cudkanquim, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cudkanquim, she will strike you with lightening.

Cudkanquim's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Cudkanquim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Cudkanquim.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Cudkanquim loves mice, so they must be respected.

5. Do not stand on grass.