Mobfumfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, passionate octopus.

Mobfumfarn created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Mobfumfarn, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mobfumfarn, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Mobfumfarn's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Mobfumfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always treat shrews with great respect.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Erect six zinc sculptures of Mobfumfarn on top of important buildings.

5. Never laugh in holy places.