Dubsanquimfas is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unsympathetic newt.

Dubsanquimfas created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dubsanquimfas, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dubsanquimfas, he will not care at all.

Dubsanquimfas' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dubsanquimfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must love Dubsanquimfas.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.